Shock. Total and utter shock.
May 5th, 2009
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Shock. Total and utter shock. Serena van der Woodsen in jail? And because her own mother had her arrested? OMFG! Could it get any crazier than that? Of course it can. This is the Upper East Side, people! Okay, okay, let’s go back to how this all started so we can totally understand what exactly went down…
Gabriel had vanished with all the money Lily, her Coop and Rufus had given him to invest. Serena could not believe this was happening. She brought that loser into everyone’s lives and because of her people had just lost serious $$. Serena decided to take it into her own hands to get the money back from Gabriel. So she did what any girl would do in order to get a guy to talk to her ASAP: Serena told Gabriel she was pregnant. And it worked. Dude called back in literally seconds. Serena met Gabriel at The Palace and told him she wasn’t knocked up. Instead, she wanted all the money he was stealing back. Gabriel told her he didn’t have it. Poppy did. It was all her scheme. Turned out, Poppy was actually a faux-calite. She snuck her way into high society and was just lucky to make friends with rich people. This meant it was Poppy they were after. Bitch was going down.
By trying to clean up thw huge mess herself, Serena was hoping to not have to tell her mom about this unfortunate incident. Lily had been treating Serena so well lately. Seemed like she was truly proud of the woman Serena was becoming. Lily even gave her a diamond bracelet that was a family heirloom (it was like way, way nice). This made Serena even more uncomfortable about having to explain the money issue. She was set on working this out all on her own. If she could just get the money back and return to everyone then all would be good. Right? Unfortunately, Dan Humphrey ruined all that. Dan overheard Serena et al. talking about Gabriel taking the money and fleeing. He was stunned. Rufus had given Gabriel Dan’s college dough. Without that money there was no way Dan was gonna go to college. So he did what any dorky and neurotic kid would do: he went straight to Lily. Ugh (go back to Brooklyn). Lily wanted to keep this totally under wraps. If word got out about them being involved, Serena’s life could be ruined. Do you know what kind of bad press this would be? Lily decided to pay back all the investors herself (it’s good to be a Bass). For Rufus, though, she was making an exception. Lily was going to pay him $5,000 a month. Seemed not only a little preferential but also a bit like charity.
And while Lily was doing that, Rufus was preparing to pop the question. Yep, he wanted to be her fifth husband. Rufus went to Eric to ask for Lily’s hand in marriage (adorable!!). Eric, of course, gave his blessing but was a little apprehensive about the way Rufus was going to propose. Lily was used to elaborate proposals (like on top of pyramids or in blimps). This was not something Rufus could give to her. But he made due and decided to do it the Humphrey way. Rufus cooked up a dinner of Lily’s favorite foods and brought her lilies. Looked like the van der Woodsens (+Chuck) and the Humphreys were officially going to be united for good.
In order to get Poppy the crew needed to whip up the most badass plan they could think of. Luckily, Georgina was there. While she was still in love with Jesus, she was easily convinced to play the part of Sherilyn Phillips, a rich Canadian who was new to New York. The first person “Sherilyn” was to meet in the Big Apple? Why none other than Poppy Lifton (and obviously Poppy agreed to meet since she only associates with rich people). The group bugged Georgina and waited around the Russian Tea Room until Poppy started talking money. It was only a matter of time until they had Poppy right where they wanted her. And I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but: Thanks for your help, Georgina.
While everyone was waiting, some major drama went down. First off, Blair was still deciding if she wanted to move into Nate’s apartment with him. This was a huge step and one she couldn’t make properly until a major question was answered: what the hell was Chuck’s deal? If Chuck wanted her then he had to tell her that. If he didn’t then she could be free. But she couldn’t make up her mind until she knew exactly how Chuck felt. So she made him tell her. And sadly, he said it was all just a game. NOOOOO! Blair was heartbroken but at least now she could move on with her life. Serena heard the whole thing and could not believe Chuck did that. What the eff? And then he finally admitted it. The reason he told Blair that it was a game was because he actually did love her (and he really said “I LOVE HER!” AHH). Chuck just couldn’t give her what she needed. OMFG! Chuck Bass just admitted he loved Blair Waldorf! But he didn’t tell her that. GAH!
Blair informed Nate she wasn’t going to move in with him. Not because of Chuck but just because it wasn’t right. Nate agreed. They still had issues they had to work out. Blair told him maybe their next step should be prom. Omg! Prom. I almost totally forgot about it with all this crazy action happening. But yes, Nate and Blair going to prom together is like icing on the cake to four years of high school.
Georgina had Poppy right under her thumb. Or rather, “Sherilyn” did. She offered to give money for the investment and, of course, Poppy happily accepted. Yes! It was time for the bitch to get what she deserved. Unfortunately, when the cops got to the Russian Tea Room they weren’t there for Poppy. Rather, they were there for Serena! Turned out, in order to stop Serena from turning this mess into a big deal, Lily called in the police. She said her bracelet was stolen and Serena had taken it. OMG! So while Serena was being handcuffed, Poppy was able to get out scott free. With Georgina’s bible money. Yep, Georgina had given Poppy money for bibles for the church camp (with the thought she would get it right back). OMJC!
But we all know Georgina Sparks. And while she has changed a bit no one effing crosses her. With Jesus on her side or not, Georgina was now out for Poppy’s blood. It was going to be the war of the Upper East Side bitches. This was gonna get ugly.
Meanwhile, over at the van der Woodsens Rufus was about to get on his knee. However, he found the paperwork re: Lily paying him $5,000 a month. What the hell was that? When he confronted Lily she told him she had to take care of it herself. He was humiliated. Lily tried to explain but he didn’t care. When Serena got arrested it only made matters worse. How could Lily lock her daughter away like that? Lily argued it was for the best. She couldn’t let this scandal get out. It would totally embarrass her. Rufus was shocked. This didn’t sound like Lily. It sounded like Cece. Was Lily becoming her? Rufus wasn’t going to be proposing to Lily. Their families weren’t going to blend. Looked like it was over. Sadness.
ACK! This was insane. Serena’s in jail! Chuck admitted he loved Blair! Nate and Blair are going to prom together! Rufus and Lily are over?! Georgina is back to her old self! This is all amazing! Just what I like to see. And prom is only a week away. Save a dance for me? Xoxo Gossip Girl
Georgina’s “Camp” Schedule
May 1st, 2009
On the Upper East Side when the going gets tough…
April 28th, 2009
On the Upper East Side when the going gets tough, the tough bring in the baddest bitch they’ve ever met. Case in point: Georgina Sparks. Sometimes when things get so awful and you need help it’s always best to turn to someone who, although crazy, can help you out of a sticky situation. Let’s hope Georgina can fix this big old mess that has been made…
Serena was all gaga into Gabriel. She spent a lot of time with him and was really enjoying his company. Even Lily and Rufus liked the man from North Carolina. It seemed as though Serena had finally found her Prince Charming in the form of a rich Southerner. That’s beautiful, y’all. Unfortunately, Blair was not feeling him. She thought there was something up with Gabriel and she was determined to figure out what it was. After an incredibly short stakeout, Blair caught the redneck red handed. He was making out with Poppy Lifton! Rude. When Serena confronted Gabriel about what Blair witnessed he told her that he and Poppy were not together. He was in an unfortunate sitch. Poppy had connected him with all his investors (fyi he had this huge business plan to bring WiFi to developing African nations) and was going to pull them when she found out Gabriel was now dating Serena. So Gabriel had to lie to Poppy in order to save his business venture. He fibbed to her and said he and Serena were over. Serena was bummed. However, Gabriel promised Serena he and Poppy’s relationship was not physical and once the contracts were made in a week they’d be dunzo. Forever. Gabriel only had eyes for one girl: Serena. Aww-ish. Poor Serena. Sharing a guy AGAIN? What is up with that?
Of course, Blair was still not convinced Gabriel was truthful. Especially after hearing about how he supposedly had first met Serena at Butter the night before the SAT’s (you know, the night she was drugged by Georgina). It would have been impossible for Gabriel to have met Serena since Blair had used all the bartenders from Butter for her Nelly Yuki SAT sabotage party (and besides, meeting a girl when she’s roofied is so not cute). This North Caroliner was more like a North Caro-liar. Blair and Chuck devised a scheme, much to Nate’s dismay. Nate was pissed off at all the time Blair and Chuck were spending together. Blair was his girlfriend. Not Chuck’s. Nate was so fixed on keeping the two apart he even bought a condo in Murray Hill (who the hell is he? A recent Indiana or Syracuse college grad?). With Nate at Columbia next year and Blair at NYU, this would keep them together and Chuck out of the picture. But anyway. No matter how much Nate wanted them apart, Blair and Chuck always found a way to somehow be together (not like together together, but like scheming together natch). So yeah, Blair and Chuck came up with a plot. They decided to invite Poppy to Lily’s Coop meeting/party. When Poppy arrived and saw Gabriel and Serena together she was beyond livid. Gabriel was her boyfriend and Serena was a boyfriend stealer. Gabriel could forget all his contacts. Poppy was pulling them and Gabriel was going to have to go back to the south and work at daddy’s company. Rough.
With Gabriel seeing his entire business venture crumble, Serena couldn’t not help him out. Here they were in one of the most expensive buildings in the city, surrounded by some of the wealthiest people in the country, certainly people would want to invest. And sure enough, with Gabriel’s charming personality people started lining up to give him money to help African children update their Facebook profiles and send tips to yours truly.
Meanwhile, Vanessa was acting weird around Dan. Avoiding him and only talking to his dad. But Vanessa wanted to tell Dan the truth about why she was being shady. So she decided to play “I never.” And that’s when she admitted that she slept with Chuck Bass. Twice. Dan was a little shocked. Out of all the people in the entire world to sleep with? Chuck freaking Bass? Ugh! After that the game just turned into a drunken mess with Vanessa spilling huge beans. Rufus had recently told her there had been no bites on the Gallery. No one wanted to buy it. This meant Dan would not be able to afford Yale and thus not be able to attend. Sucks!
But have no fear! Rufus Humphrey doesn’t give up so easily. He decided to invest some money with Gabriel. Hopefully this would lead to ca-ching and Dan would soon be heading to New Haven. Although this was not the only thing Rufus was dealing with. He was debating about whether or not to ask Lily to marry him (!!). Rufus couldn’t decide so his kids helped him out. They bought a ring Rufus was seen eying at an antiques store. I guess, this was them giving their OK to Rufus proposing. Looked like the Humphreys were gonna do pretty well for themselves.
Still determined to get to the bottom of what was up with Gabriel, Chuck and Blair decided to go to the one person who would know the truth of what happened the night Gabriel supposedly first met Serena. The one person was more demented than Poppy and Gabriel: Georgina Sparks. Chuck and Blair traveled upstate to where Georgina had been living. It was a church camp. You heard that right. Georgina Sparks was now only into Jesus. She had been praying for God’s forgiveness for all the horrible things she had done. Looked like Georgina was hoping to end up in heaven and not that other place. But before Blair could even talk to Georgina she split. To go be with her actual boyfriend, Nate. This left Chuck with Georgina - aw you know about the history between those two 
Poor Serena. She really should have listened to Blair and Chuck. Because they were right in their suspicion with Gabriel. Turned out, he really was a phony. Gabriel was still seeing Poppy (it was like the two were the demonic duo). Gabriel and Poppy learned everyone was on to them. So what did they do? Gabriel decided to flee. With all the money people had given him to invest (including a certain Mr. Humphrey). There was no investment this was just a ploy to make $$. ACK!
OMG! What the hell is everyone gonna do? Serena’s basically brought a criminal into our world. Good job, S. I just hope they can get Gabriel back before he ruins some serious lives. Also, I know Georgina is supposedly good and all now but just the sight of her still brings shivers down my spine. The evil spirit may have gone to Jesus camp but I don’t think she could fully be exorcised. The devil in her must eventually come out. I’ll be praying for a miracle…xoxo Gossip Girl
Spotted!
April 27th, 2009Spotted: S and her new boy having an incredibly romantic dinner at Da Filippo. There was candlelight and hand holding. Jealous! Looks like we have a new golden couple. Sorry B and N. B was seen shopping at Barney’s w/ Dorota in tow. So cute. While N was outside a building in Murray Hill. No idea what he was doing there. The Upper East Side is a bit north, N. D going to the bank to deposit his cater waiter money. Cute or pathetic? A little bit of both, I think. J gabbing to V at the Gallery about whatever girls from Brooklyn gab about. And last but not least, C’s limo stopping outside Gray’s Papaya late at night. His driver went in and came out with only one hot dog. Guess C was alone…
The Deets on S’ New Man
April 23rd, 2009Looks like Serena and Gabriel are officially on. Let me fill you in on some important deets about S’ new man: Gabriel Edwards is from a far off foreign land called North Carolina. His family made their money (and we’re talking millions, possibly billions) from growing and selling tobacco. So not only is Gabriel totally hot but he’s also totally rich. Way to go, S. Serena and her southern gentleman have been spotted arm in arm all over town. After a long dating sting that included Dan Humphrey, Aaron Rose and then Dan Humphrey again, it’s a breath of fresh air to finally see someone on the same level with Serena.
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